Going Toward Higher Education

Since the day we talked about privilege, its existence, its various meanings and types of privilege, I have been thinking and applying the concept to situations that happen daily. For instance, this morning when I was getting on the bus, there wasn’t a line, but instead people were just basically taking turns walking up the stairs into the bus while bunched up at the door. Now, I noticed the White people in front of me, particularly the White girls. They were being polite to one another, taking turns, and the guys in the bunch would exercise the ‘ladies first’ politeness taught in early childhood. But as I inched closer to the door, in the midst of the bunch, it was almost as if I felt like all the girls in front of me should get on first, so that no one could say black people are rude and use me inching my way closer as an example. At the same time, a White guy and I were arm to arm tip-toeing toward the door. It was awkward because lots of feelings evoked in me that I never paid attention to before the discussions in class. As a woman, I felt like I had the privilege to get the ‘ladies first’ treatment, and that this man would just take a step behind me so I could get on first. However, this guy kept trying to walk closer and closer to me as to walk me off to the side, so that he could get on first. Then, almost automatically, I thought of all the reasons why he may have done that, instead of instantly regarding him as rude. I thought that maybe he felt like he had white male privilege, so he can do basically what he wants, and at that time he wanted to get on the bus before me. Then, I thought, why didn’t he want me to get on before him? Was the reason because he was worried about the availability of seats? Or, could it have been his subliminal, oblivious actions that White people are superior, so should always come first? Well, with others, I will never know. But because change starts with me, I decided that it was probably because I stepped between him and his friend, or girlfriend, or someone of importance that he had to reconnect with and sit by on the ride to our higher education.